Wednesday, June 21, 2017

trouble in paradise

a disturbing incident occurred to unsettle the equanimity of the greecian idyll i have been enjoying with hippolyta.

a british yacht came in with a super-smooth character on board – cedric by name – who was dressed up to the nines (totally at odds with the prevailing dress code in the little taverna where we enjoy our evening trysts) who was soon behaving in a very smarmy, leslie-phillips-kind-of-way towards hippolyta who quickly succumbed to his crocodillian blandishments...


i tried to sneak up and eavesdrop on their chitchat, but it was all murmured nothings. i can't believe hippolyta has fallen for this scaly character just because he has a top hat and waistcoat and flashes so many teeth with every caddish smile.


buttons hippo told me that, in his opinion, hippolyta is totally smitten...


then he kindly allowed me to cry out my grief on his shoulder...


for me, it brought back sordid memories of an incident recounted on this blog back in 2013...

is history repeating itself........................


september 8, 2013 

hippo-got-a-mouse

we are staying at a truly international venue where big yachts from all over the world come into the harbour on a daily basis.

today a boat sporting the american flag arrived owned by a vip who can truly be described as a big cheese.

since arriving he has done nothing but talk about his studio in hollywood, the films he has made and the oscars he has won...

buttons hippo did his best to sell a treatment for his memoir, carry on up the limpopo, and i actually thought he was going to strike a deal, but as soon as the visitor saw hippolyta (she was relaxing under a parasol by the pool with her first tequila sunrise of the afternoon) he lost interest in b h's proposal and started talking about how he was going to make hippolyta into the new marilyn monroe.

"more like the new margaret rutherford," said buttons hippo cruelly (i thought), retreating to his room with a  bottle of bourbon. but now h is totally smitten with the yank (with his ludicrous red shorts and yellow boots) and is on the point of signing a three picture deal which will whisk her off to the other side of the world to fame and fortune and out of my life for ever...



september 9, 2013 

beware of yanks bearing contracts

my worst fears have been realised! the yank has turned out to be an even worse cad than i anticipated: overnight, he up-anchored and vanished!

not only has he abandoned hippolyta who is devastated and is sitting in her room with mascara streaming down her cheeks sobbing, "i'm ready for my close-up mr de mouse...", but he has also filched the script of a disaster movie that roger was hoping to sell to brian's friend peter jackson; set in greece, it was entitled goats on a boat and will undoubtedly be at a cinema near you sometime in 2014.

buttons hippo and i toyed with buying a boat to go in pursuit of the mouse, but it turned out we didn't have enough euros even if brian went without ice creams for the remainder of the holiday...


all chance may have now gone of a hacienda in the grounds of hippolyta's beverley hills mansion, but we haven't yet given up hope of getting our revenge on that black-eared villain...

september 10, 2013 

cliffhanger

determined to pay out the rat who had so badly wronged poor hippolyta, buttons hippo and i pursued his yacht with the assistance of our trusty inflatable bambi, which, in the circumstances  i considered poetic (or, more accurately) filmic justice...


we eventually found our quarry sunbathing on a bay further round the coast, so we snuck up on him...


...located a large boulder, precariously balanced...


...gave it the teensiest of shoves - scarcely more than a nudge...


...and left the rest to gravity!


after which we just had a jolly good laugh!

 

september 11, 2013

greeting the dawn

as anyone who knows her will tell you, hippolyta is not really a 'morning person': the hours between sunrise and noon are – understandably for a diva – reserved for the necessary cultivation and preservation of her legendary beauty.

however, the upset over the mouse who turned out to be a rat, left her feeling abused and abandoned and sleep was a total impossibility.

after a seemingly endless night of anguish, I eventually managed to console her and help her see that, as vivien leigh says in gone with the wind, "tomorrow is another day..."

and so, together, we greeted the dawn on the last day of our holiday...

 
...................

but will this year's incident as happily...? 

who knows...?


No comments: